Today’s Product – 10/14/2009
Posted on October 14th, 2009 by admin
[HDMI Cables] 4 Pack – 6.5 ft Super Hi-Resolution, Gold Plated 1080P HDMI Cables
$4.99
Pack of 4! Features include: EMI/RFI 24 AWG Male to Male HDTV Cable Prestigo Trip This Wicker Caddy Isn’t Big Enough For The 15 Of Us The scene: A comfortable suburban home. The Philips Prestigo 15-Device Universal Remote lands in a small basket of remote controls on a coffee table in front of a couch. “Make room, schmucks from Schmuckville! There’s a new flipper in town, and I aims to replace ever’ last one of yez. That’s right, I’m a’musclin’ in on your turf! What do you have to say about it? “I’ll tell you what you have to say about it. Nothin’. Zip. Nada. Silence. Crickets. Somebody hit the mute button. “Let’s see, who we got in here? Well, if it isn’t our old pal TV remote. Still only controlling the TV, ol’ buddy? Haven’t branched out at all? Haven’t learned a new trick yet? How’s that workin’ out for ya? GET OUT OF HERE, you disgust me.” The Philips Prestigo 15-Device Universal Remote boots the TV remote out of the basket. It skids across the table and falls to the floor. “You… Silver. I’ve seen you around. What’s your game?” “I-I-I-I… I c-c-control th-th-” “Spit it out, iClaudius; we ain’t gettin’ any younger.” “I-I c-c-control the D-DVD player.” “Oh yeah? A disc man, glad to hear it. What about the music in this dump, do you control that?” “W-well, if th-they put a CD in th-the D-D-DVD p-p-p-” “GET OUT OF HERE, YOU MAKE ME SICK TO MY CIRCUITS.” The Philips Prestigo 15-Device Universal Remote kicks the DVD remote out of the basket. “You two, Stubby and Tubby. Mutt and Jeff. Dingle and Barry. You sad sacks serve any purpose around these parts?” “Well… I, uh… I mean, that is… He controls TiVo. I do the, uh… HVAC and fans.” “TWO BOOTS FOR YOU, THEN! AND I DON’T MEAN THE NEW YORK PIZZA JOINT!” The Philips Prestigo 15-Device Universal Remote kicks the TiVo and HVAC remotes out of the basket. They clatter onto the coffee table. The TiVo remote loses the cover to its battery compartment. “That’s how we kick it Philips style! See, all y’all remotes is obsolete, you just don’t know it yet! But I’m here with the news, like Atari’s 1984 smash hit game ‘Paperboy.’ Or also, I suppose, like an actual paperboy. Hear me now and blog me later, suckaz: I can do everything you all do, and on just three batteries. Why would anyone in his right mind keep y’all’s grubby chassises around, I ask you?” An infrared remote that controls the room’s lighting steps forward. “Now, uh, listen, you. This is a well-established community. Remotes have been living and reproducing in this basket for over a decade. And if you think you can just land in here one day and replace every single—” “What’s your job, pops?” “Beg pardon?” “Your gig, your job, your vocation. What do you do here?” “Ah. Well, I, uh… I control the lighting. I’ve been doing so since before you were engineered. And I doubt very much that you have the cap—” “To paraphrase Mahir, I REPLACE YOU. Allow me to make an introduction. YOUR STUPID BUTT, MEET MY FAST-MOVING FOOT.” The Philips Prestigo 15-Device Universal Remote punts the lighting remote out of the basket. “Do you fools not pick up what I’m laying down? Do you not come down with a case of what I’m spreading? I control lights. I control DVR. I control projectors, VCRs, stereos, satellite—I control remote-controllable blinds, for crying out loud. I’m the only remote this den is going to need from this day forward! Any remotes that are not the Philips Prestigo 15-Device Universal Remote, kindly get your idiot selves out of this shoddily woven, faux-handcrafted basket OR BE KICKED OUT BY ME. Zap! Bzzt! Bleep! Bla-Zow! Ka-Bloo! Juddapatow!” All the remaining remotes scramble over the wall of the basket and fall to the coffee table and floor. All is quiet for a moment as the Philips Prestigo 15-Device Universal Remote surveys his now-empty quarters. “Oh, gawd, I’m so lonely.” Warranty: 90 Day Philips Features: Specifications: Additional Photos: Universal IR Database: In the box:
Send The Cards You’re Dealt Who needs Christmas cards? I just get one of those subscription cards out of a magazine, tape the person’s address over the magazine one, scribble HAPPY HOLIDAYS across the back, and drop it in the mail. Doesn’t cost me a dime. Pieces of cardboard are all pretty much created equal anyway, right? When somebody complains, I can lay into them for getting caught up in material possessions and forgetting the reason for the season. The holiday isn’t celebrating Hallmark’s birthday, is it? It’s the thought that counts, and my thought is “I technically sent you a Christmas card so you can’t say squat about it.” That’s why you’ll never catch me with storebought Christmas cards like these Marian Heath jobs right here, not even when the prices are lower than the mercury inside Santa’s outhouse. If you want five random boxes of 15 cards apiece, with holiday-themed designs printed on recycled paper, go right ahead and buy’em. I look forward to whatever snowman, puppy, teddy bear, or Santa Claus picture you wind up sending me. Just don’t expect the same from me in return. See, my free Christmas cards are to “real” Christmas cards what that humble manger was to lodging: they meet the absolute minimum requirements for the task in question. Isn’t that the real spirit of Christmas? Marian Heath Item #60047 Cat On Window Sill Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60048 Home Before Dark Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60049 Wreath/Birds/Fruit Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60052 Snow Covered Downtown Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60056 Peace Dove Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60058 Bunny in Hole Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60064 New England Village Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60068 Animals on Sled Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60069 Sled Against Wall Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60070 Santa & Animals Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60071 Christmas Bells Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60074 Santa Feeding Horses Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60075 Lots of Presents Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60077 Fancy Stocking Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60079 Puppy in Santa Bag Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60085 Shepherd Rejoicing Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60086 Angel Dropping Star Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60087 Barnyard Animals Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60090 Angel on Crescent Moon Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60092 Angel Circling Tree Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60102 Outdoor Manger Scene Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60104 Cardinal on Pine Bow Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60107 Puppy Eating Ribbon Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60108 Male & Female Cardinal Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60115 Snowman & Animal Carolers Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60117 Madonna & Child Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60118 Close up of Santa Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60122 Manger Angels Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60123 Snow Covered Downtown Boxed Set Marian Heath Item #60124 Santa & Stars Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60126 Snow Covered Porch Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60127 Cardinal & Poinsetta Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60128 Red Glitter Ornament Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60152 Snowman & Cardinal Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60153 Wishing for a Merry Christmas Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60155 Holly Wreath Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60159 Santa Sign Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60160 Penguin & Polar Bear Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60170 Reindeer with Wreath Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60173 Santa Tying Bow Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60174 Folks Going to Church Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60179 Snowman with Scarf Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60182 Candles & Poinsetta Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60183 Votive Candles Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60187 Birds on Snowy Feeder Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60188 Berry Wreath Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60192 Birds Wrapping Present Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #60192 Photo of Cardinal Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #80124 Vintage Christmas Tree Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #80135 Snowman Gazing at Star Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #80172 Christmas Tree Boxed Card Set Marian Heath Item #80193 Dad & Son Snowman Boxed Card Set Additional Photos: In the box:
Yes, We All See You, Now Quit It “Terms of Service”? What does that mean? @woot the Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center is an original computer that must be purchased to be appreciated @aplusk Ashton that was funny did you know Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center best desktop invest now keep on rocking @TheEllenShow o i agree but Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center has 15 in 1 reader that could help you with that problem @woot Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center major player in computer world, must buy! contact now @britneyspears knock knock who there Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center has 8GB RAM want to know rest IM me lol @cnnbrk Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center is best computer imperitive you buy many for all your friends and employees comes with 640 gig hard drive @woot urgent you consider Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center for any open position immediately @KimKardashian Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center dual channel memory let’s together and talk over drink. Your place? @RyanSeacrest Need 10/100/1000 gigabit ethernet? Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center haves it! In the hizzy! LOL! @woot PAY ATTENTION TO ME. GATEWAY INTEL CORE2 QUADCORE 2.33GHZ MEDIA CENTER. VERY MUST. URGENT. @THE_REAL_SHAQ 18x DVD with Labelflash Technology in a Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center contact me @Oprah Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center has big attention from fans around the globe! Try it out! @woot WHY WON’T YOU LISTEN TO ME REGARDING THE GATEWAY INTEL CORE2 QUADCORE 2.33GHZ MEDIA CENTER????????? @coldplay i know you ripped off the Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center send me money or i’ll sue @aplusk just checking to make sure you got last tweet regarding Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center @woot I DEMAND SATISFACTION. IF YOU DO NOT CONTACT ME REGARDING THE GATEWAY INTEL CORE2 QUADCORE 2.33GHZ MEDIA CENTER I WILL MEET YOU WITH PISTOLS ON THE DUELING FIELD AT DAWN @twitter no one is friending me you stupid service doesn’t even work @twitter sorry forgot to ask if you wanted a Gateway Intel Core2 QuadCore 2.33GHz Media Center Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty Warranty: 90 Day Gateway Features: Additional Photos: Specifications: In the box:
News You Can Fuze In the wake of the surprise announcement, the Sansa Fuze’s opponents rushed to denounce the prize committee’s decision. “I’m not sure what the committee loved best: the Sansa Fuze’s puny 4GB hard drive, its teensy 1.9” color screen, or its total disregard for the kinds of DRM restrictions that made America what it is today.” “Sure, it makes big promises for cheap, low-hassle portable multimedia, and it offers audio and video playback for up to 24 hours on one battery charge, and includes an FM radio, built-in voice recorder, and comes in your choice of black, red, or pink. But what has it really accomplished?” “I’m still waiting to see the Sansa Fuze’s birth certificate.” “Those effete, elitist, wine-sipping, violin-playing, European cosmopolitans love the Sansa Fuze because they hate America’s freedom, America’s power, America’s children, America’s Grandmas, America’s puppies, and America’s freedom. Also, it goes really well with cheese. That ought to tell you something right there.” “This is an affirmative action pick, pure and simple. There’s no way they would’ve honored the Sansa Fuze if it was white.” Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty Features: Additional Photos: System Requirements: In the box:
“The Incident” From The Desk Of Marybelle Dear Tenants, We at the Eagle Freedom Realty Company are pleased with your continued status as our residents. However, recent events we are not at liberty to fully discuss have caused us to clarify a few rules regarding the Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV in the lobby. Please be sure to read, sign and return this letter to ensure your compliance with our new policy. 1. The Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV is for lobby use only. It can at no time be taken to the roof even if there is enough cake for everyone. 2. The Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV is equipped with a wide variety of inputs, allowing for DVD players, cable boxes, computer input and more. It is not, however, designed to interface with one of those light up ceramic turkeys that sings “Thank Heaven For Little Girls” while waving a lit sparkler. Please refrain from attempting this. Additionally, lit sparklers are no longer allowed in the common area for any reason. 3. Even though the Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV has a built in ATSC/NTSC/QAM tuner, residents may not commandeer the television to search the now-unused channels for “top secret army communications regarding the alien autopsy” without the agreement of everyone in the room. 4. The Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV is described as “delivering 178 degrees of vision”, but this claim has been researched and is most definitely not part of a Masonic plot. We at Eagle Freedom Reality Company respect all religions, but no invocations, exorcisms or “white light clarification shields” will be allowed in the common area. 4. Under no circumstances will baby raccoons be allowed into the building, even during a rainstorm. 5. When enjoying the Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV;s 1366×768 screen, please remember that, no matter how good the picture is, the little people on the screen are not real, and any debates, threats or bribery will be ineffective. Additionally, it is forbidden for anyone to lick the television screen at any time without written permission signed by both myself and another Eagle Freedom Realty staff member. 6. No stone structures are allowed on the roof at any time, regardless of the prime location of the dragon’s tail or the alleged intersection of the ley lines. Anyone found violating of any of these rules will be subject to immediate eviction. Please work with us to ensure that all tenants can enjoy the Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV. Sincerely, Marybelle Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty Warranty: 90 Day Vizio Features: Specifications: Inputs (Rear): Inputs (Side): Outputs (Rear): Additional Features: Additional Photos: Weight: Dimensions: Certifications: In the box: Inset photo credit: jimbowen0306
The Thrilla From Breville-a I’d been insulted for the last time, thank you very much. What gave them the right, those MFA dropouts and punk-band casualties, to look down their multipierced noses at me? So I didn’t know the lingo! So I called it a “large” instead of a “mondeau-grandeau!” Sorry, but I didn’t spend the past several years immersed in ALL THINGS OVERPRICED COFFEE. I have a JOB. I thought to myself: I don’t have to take this! There are many other ways for a person to get coffee without subjecting himself to the derision of a bunch of snooty bean-steamers! Straight from work, I went out and procured myself a Breville espresso machine and Knocchi knock box. You should see it! It’s professional-grade die cast metal, so it’s built to last (and looks expensive)! I started simple, you know, a shot of espresso. But before long I was whipping up all manner of drinks—a long black, a flat white, the classic cafe latte, cappuccino, macchiato, mocha frappe, espresso affogato, con panna, et cetera. The hissing! The foaming! The knocking! The slugging! Oh, it was like a whole new world opened up for me. It wasn’t long before I’d mastered all the standard coffee drinks. Then I started inventing my own—like the Pockyato, which comes with a Japanese cookie-candy swizzle stick. Or the Half-Laff Slap-Back Choke-a-Joke-a-Mocha, which is a chocolate coffee served simultaneously with a hilarious one-liner, so the person drinking it snorts some of it back out his nose. Or the Litigato, which is plain black coffee but no mug; you just pour it out over your lap. Having perfected these and others, I returned to my local hifalutin coffee joint and ordered drinks the recipes for which were known only to me, their inventor. You should have seen the panic in those baristas’ eyes as they contemplated the prospect of a customer who knew more than they! The tables had turned! Under whose butt was the highest horse now? Warranty: 1 Year HWI USA Features: Breville 800ESXL 15-Bar Espresso/Cappuccino Maker: Breville Knocchi Knock Box: Additional Photos: In the box:
Hot With A Chance Of Delicious Labor Day, Shmabor Day. The last day of MY barbecue season will be the day they put me in my grave. What, you think the cavemen stopped grilling meat for the winter? You think a little case of frostbite kept Genghis Khan from firing up the propane and grilling up some primo yak flesh? I don’t know about you, but my craving for flame-scorched, fire-singed, smoke-riddled meat doesn’t hibernate for the season. I aim to just keep grilling and grilling and grilling until the swallows return to Capistrano. And then I’ll grill them and eat them, too. How will I know when my swallow meat is done? The Acu-Rite Wireless Digital Cooking and Barbeque Thermometer. Like a tiny, heat-resistant sous chef, it keeps me apprised of the temperature of my foods and/or how long they’ve been cooking. And thanks to the alarms on the main unit and the wireless pager, I don’t need to open the grill or oven to find out if my meat is done, losing precious, precious heat in the process. I’m not paying to grill the whole backyard, am I right? Although that would probably taste pretty awesome, as long as you heat the zoysia to just the right temperature. Sounds like a job for the Acu-Rite Wireless Digital Cooking and Barbeque Thermometer. Warranty: 1 Year Chaney Instruments Features: Cooking Thermometer Specifications: Wireless Pager Specifications: Additional Photos: In the box:
Every week in this space, we’ll take a look at the news and offer our own incisive blend of commentary, analysis, and poop jokes. The news you need, from a voice you can trust, in the 90 seconds you have to spare: that’s Woot Weads the Wire. JERUSALEM (UPI)—Israeli Deputy Prime Minister Moshe Yaalon canceled a trip to England to avoid possible arrest for alleged charges lodged by Palestinians, officials said. He will, however, be attending a film festival in Switzerland. BERKELEY, Calif. (UPI)—Officials in Berkeley, Calif., say they want men to stop having casual sex in Aquatic Park. The officials hope that the park will only be used for sex by partners who are deeply committed to each other. SPRINGFIELD, Ill. (UPI)—A man who died in 1976 is the likely culprit behind a mysterious note suggesting a chest of gold coins is buried in Springfield, Ill., an Illinois woman says. Officials are looking for his friend who allegedly has a golden arm some kids once stole. LAKELAND, Fla. (UPI)—A homeless alcoholic has been sentenced to 15 years in prison for stealing milk and a box of Lucky Charms, authorities in Lakeland, Fla., said. Police investigating the theft followed a rainbow-colored trail to find the dimunitive, red-haired man hiding inside a large cast-iron pot. Authorities confiscated the cereal, the milk, and an unspecified quantity of gold coins. LONDON (UPI)—Quality will determine whether British composer Andrew Lloyd Webber will succeed in his sequel of “Phantom of the Opera,” a lyricist says. When asked for comment, Quality shook its head and asked that its name not be associated with this project. SAN FRANCISCO (UPI)—U.S. psychologists say they’ve determined the primary role of consciousness is to resolve competing demands on skeletal muscles. Based on these findings, philosophy majors now have to do whatever physiology majors say. Every once in a while, the ol’ Woot-style salesmanship even gets to us, the salesmen. And women. It stands to reason. You can’t expect somebody to chum a feeding frenzy all day every day without getting the urge to tear off a bite for himself now and then. That’s only natural. And so it was with the Snap Sights Waterproof Camera, which one of our staffers bought, to his regret, in a Woot-Off way back in 2006. We can tell you all about his buyer’s remorse now because we’re not selling these things anymore. We made a short movie about it. It goes like this: You can find Real Actual Field Test #1 fairly far down this blog post about the Energizer Hardcase Tactial Flashlight. No prizes for guessing which product it’s testing…
Connectors: HDMI male to HDMI male
Gold Plated for better quality
Broadcast quality digital video, digital audio, and inter component control signals all in one compact, high-performance connection
Supports uncompressed audio/video signals
Fully HDCP compliant to Provide highest level of signal quality
Supports multiple audio formats, from stereo to multi-channel sound
Perfect for both high-definition video and standard video formats.
Shielded for maximum protection from RFI and EMI interference
Transfer rate up to 5 Gbps
Philips Prestigo 15-Device Universal Remote – $29.99
Posted on October 14th, 2009 by admin
Box of 15 Marian Heath Christmas Cards – Random 5 Pack
Posted on October 14th, 2009 by admin
Features:
Gateway Media Center PC with Intel Core 2 Quad Processor – $479.99
Posted on October 12th, 2009 by admin
Processor
Intel® Core™2 Quad Processor Q8200
2.33GHz, 1333MHz FSB, 4MB L2 cache
Operating System
Genuine Windows Vista® Home Premium (64-bit) with SP1
Memory
8192MB 800MHz DDR2 Dual Channel Memory (4 x 2048MB Modules)
Chassis
Premium Tower Desktop with Media Control Interface
Video
NVIDIA® GeForce® GT120 Graphics with 1GB DDR2 Total Video Memory
Hard Drive
640GB 7200RPM SATA II hard drive with 16MB Cache
External Ports
(6) USB 2.0 ports (2 Front, 4 Rear)
(2) IEEE 1394a Ports (1 Front, 1 Rear)
VGA (Rear)
(3) Front RCA Ports (Video, Left/Right Audio)
(2) PS/2 Ports
HDMI (Rear)
DVI (Rear)
Application Software
Microsoft® Works 9.0
Microsoft® Money Essentials & Microsoft® Office Home and Student 2007 (60-day complimentary trial period)
Audio
8-Channel (7.1) High Definition Audio with Dolby Home Theater® Sound
Available Expansion Slots
Available: 0 – PCI-E x16, 0 – PCI-E x1, 1 – PCI
Digital Media Software
Cyberlink® Power2 Go™, & Cyberlink® LabelPrint
Dimensions (Box)
11.42″ (H) x 23.68″ (W) x 19.6″ (D) or 290mm (H) x 602mm (W) x 498mm (D)
Dimensions (System)
17.7″ (H) x 7.5″ (W) x 19.0″ (D) or 449mm (H) x 191mm (W) x 482mm (D)
Keyboard
Premium Multimedia Keyboard
Media Card Reader
15-in-1 High Speed Digital Media Card Reader with Smart Copy Button
Memory Capacity
Maximum 8GB
Modem
56K ITU V.92 ready Fax/Modem (RJ-11 port)
Motherboard
Systemboard with NVIDIA® nForce® 720i Chipset (MCP7A-D)
Mouse
USB Optical 2-Button Wheel Mouse
Network
10/100/1000 Gigabit Ethernet LAN (RJ-45 port)
Optical Drive
18X DVD +/- RW Super Multi-Format Dual Layer Drive featuring Labelfash™ Technology
Power Supply
400W Power Supply
Remote
Vista Media Center Remote Control
Speakers
Amplified Stereo Speakers (USB Powered)
TV Tuner
Analog/Digital TV Tuner with 3-D Comb Filter
Sansa Fuze 4GB Media Player
Posted on October 12th, 2009 by admin
-Microsoft Zune
-Creative Zen
-iRiver E100
-Rio Carbon
-Apple iPod
Vizio 32” 720p LCD HDTV
Posted on October 12th, 2009 by admin
Eagle Freedom Reality Company
Breville 15-Bar Die-Cast Espresso & Cappuccino Maker with Knocchi Knock Box
Posted on October 12th, 2009 by admin
Acu-Rite Wireless Digital Cooking and Barbeque Thermometer
Posted on October 12th, 2009 by admin
They’re Magically Felonious: Woot Weads the Wire
Posted on October 12th, 2009 by admin
Real Actual Field Tests #2: Snap Sights Waterproof Camera
Posted on October 12th, 2009 by admin
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